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Bowls In Focus : October 2011
Bowls In Focus 43 Wal in charge of a team that included Vince our president; club stalwart and local grazier Jack; a petulant Milligan, who was more used to giving orders to Wal than taking them; and myself. Wal relished the opportunity and took the role very seriously. It even extended to telephone calls in the evening telling us where we went wrong during training and making sure we were ‘mently switched on’. At the pub he even started bringing up faults and ‘areas for improvement’. Finally Milligan had had enough and tipped his half-full schooner over Wal’s balding head, which had a flow-on effect. While he staggered around in circles gasping for air, Pete McGeary the publican wheeled out the mop and bucket before telling Milligan to clean it up. Milligan then pushed the bucket in my direction just as Wal was doing his third pirouette; he tripped on it and landed in Betty Williams’ lap. Betty, who was enjoying an evening meal out with her husband Arthur, kindly patted Wal’s soggy brow saying ‘Please Walter, not in front of my husband’. It completely blew Wal’s leadership and credibility standing to the outhouse. Ellenvale arrived early for the season opener and were eager for action. Minty, with pomp and ceremony, welcomed them to the club and invited their team to stand along the end of the green while he carried out his grand opening for our start to the season. He had us line up while he called out the names of the players in each rink, and as our names were called we had to step forward and gather at one corner of the green. All players were announced and with everyone present and correct he called upon his assistants from the ladies section. After some fumbling and minor alterations they unfurled a rather large crepe paper banner in our club colours with plenty of sticky tape to hold it together, while large red lettering boldly stated ‘Through thick and thin the premiership we’ll win’. Minty mustered his charges and demanded we ‘burst’ through the heavily fortified banner. Unfortunately Todd and I found ourselves alongside Milligan and the over excited Wal. Milligan’s ample girth breasted the tape, but because we were to one side where the banner was particularly well reinforced, his momentum stalled. Wal eager to burst his way through rear-ended the floundering Milligan, taking Todd and I down with them as they collapsed. The force was too much for the ladies holding the banner and pine poles cracked us on our heads, trapping a snarling bunch of bowlers underneath. The Ellenvale men were in hysterics, and although we managed to extricate ourselves from this sticky situation, our decorum was in tatters similar to the banner. It took us some time to recover as Ellenvale slipped away to an early lead. Thank heavens for the afternoon tea break. We were able to regroup and our rigorous pre-season saw us through. This was exemplified by Milligan when he played a delicate trail to give us four shots and in his excitement punch the air yelling ‘beat that Union Jack’. Minty was happy with our come from behind win, also managing to put behind him the ‘disappointing shambles’ of our opening ceremony, while at the same time glaring in Milligan’s direction - he was standing in his customary spot at the bar. But he knew there was no sense in trying to flog a dead horse, grand gestures and Milligan simply just don’t mix. Milligan’s Life IllustrationbyRodMarget 529 High St, Echuca Vic 3564 p. 03 5482 1388 firstname.lastname@example.org or visit www.riverinabowls.com.au New DREAMLINE XG NOW Available featuring greater material density better in wind flatter finish to head repositioned grip Minimum $100 Trade in on any legal set of bowls FREE post on internet sales (This month only) Lease your New Bowls for $250 per annum Lease them for 3 years and they are yours or exchange them annually
August September 2011